Paul's Birthday

Yesterday was Paul’s birthday. Most of you probably know who he is by now but for the benefit of those who don’t, he’s my special needs son who’s currently staying with my parents in order to help Mum look after Dad, who’s very, very ill at the moment. He was 31 yesterday but to all intents and purposes, he’s still very much a child. An incredibly loving, helpful and honest child.

I phoned him yesterday to wish him happy birthday - like you do - and after a quick ‘conversation’ (Paul can’t actually speak and as he obviously can’t use sign language or gestures via the phone, conversation is difficult) I spoke to my mum.

She told me he’d received a card from my ex husband. This is a man who I haven’t lived with for about 18 years and who isn’t Paul’s natural father. Paul was a year old when we met, two when we married. Since going our separate ways, he’s had relatively little to do with Paul (long story but there is a reason) but never once has he forgotten him. And there’s always some money in the card too, even though he’s far from ‘flush’ himself.

Paul gets ever so excited about birthday cards - small things mean a hell of a lot to him. Far more so than they ever have to me or my daughters. Paul sees and appreciates things that most of take for granted. Sadly though, he only received two cards. The second one was from my mum. Today he should get two more, one from me and one from his sister (ours obviously didn’t arrive on the day) but unless there are some more late-comers, nobody else bothered.

Now I understand that we usually stop sending cards when children grow up, and that some people won’t send cards at all for ethical reasons, but I would have expected a few more people to understand that Paul isn’t ‘grown up’, especially those who have been close to him, and that he doesn’t have a great many of the pleasures in life that we all take for granted, and at least taken the time to send a card to brighten his day with - to help make him feel special and appreciated. Because he IS special, in so many ways.

I just feel that fewer people seem to take the time to think about what would make somebody else happy and actually do it - sending a card isn’t that difficult. Even a phone call would have been something. Or a letter. Anything!

Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I shouldn’t expect anything. Maybe it’s just me being selfish, expecting others to give a damn about my son.

Sharon J xx

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Yuletide Celebrations

Today is Yule, also known as the winter solstice, the original winter celebration that early Christians tried to stamp out by introducing a Christian celebration during the 4th century instead. You know the one I mean, it’s called Christmas.

A lot of people still mark Yule though, in one way or another, because tonight will be the longest night of year meaning that the days are gradually going to start getting lighter as we once again head towards spring. If that’s not something to celebrate in the midst of a grey and dismal winter - and that’s what we usually get here in the UK, after all - then I really don’t know what is.

I don’t make a big fuss about Yule because our family celebrate Christmas too, although not from a religious point of view. We celebrate it as the turning of the year, the mid point in winter from where things can only get better. Basically, a delayed Yule celebration but I do mark the actual day in my own quiet little way by lighting lots of candles and making a meal that I particularly enjoy. The lighting of candles was originally to persuade the sun, through the Sun God, Mithras, who was born on the shortest day of the year, to reappear as quickly as possible, grow strong and drive away the darkness. As for the food, I don’t have a tradition, I just go with what I fancy. This year it’ll be marinated pork loin with cherry sauce, potatoes and fresh vegetables. The cherry sauce has been frozen for a couple of months but that’s ok, it’ll thaw out and warm up nicely and will be a reminder of the glorious fruit that will once again adorn the tree in the garden following the setting of the blossom, a true mark of spring. As for the pork, I just love pork loin, especially if it’s been marinated properly, and a few winter veg never go amiss.

In Scandinavia they still use the name Jul (pronounced Yule) to describe Christmas, rather than anything religious. Try as they might, those early Christians just never managed to ‘persuade’ them to entirely drop their Pagan traditions. They still have ‘nisser’ - naughty elf like creatures who you have to be kind to during the celebrations otherwise they’ll bugger up your crops next year - and they still use apples, oranges with cloves in, straw goats and other typically Pagan festival decorations.

Mind you, having said that, a lot of what we have originates from the Yule celebrations, it‘s just that most people aren‘t aware of them. Holly, Ivy, Yule Logs, Mistletoe, and even some ‘Christmas’ cards have a Yuletide greeting on them, being sent by people who have no idea that Yule is not the same as Christmas. The twelve days of Christmas also originates from the burning of the Yule log for twelve days.

As somebody who feels the cold something dreadful, I’m sooooooo looking forward to the sun gathering strength and warming us up again, so for me the winter solstice is definitely something to celebrate.

Sharon J xx

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So Who Does Christmas Belong To?

I’ve seen an awful lot of arguments happening on various Internet boards recently, all with the same theme: who does Christmas belong to and who should be ‘allowed’ to celebrate it? Some of those arguments have gotten really out hand, with name calling and threats to personal safety being thrown about.

I believe that Christmas should be celebrated by anybody who wishes to join in the festivities and that, as long as they’re not hurting others, they should be allowed to celebrate in whatever way suits them, be they Christians, Pagans, Jews, Atheists or whatever else.

Many Pagans will argue that Christmas (Yule) originally belonged to them with the counterargument from Christians being that the word CHRIST in Christmas makes it theirs. Everybody has their own opinion but shouldn’t it foremostly be a time when we can practice peace by showing tolerance towards other religions or lifestyles, and stop arguing over who it belongs to and how it should be celebrated?

Here in the UK we’ve been calling this winter celebration Christmas for a good few hundred years. Before that it was known as Yule, a celebration of the Winter Solstice (the rebirth of the sun). Whether or not we should or shouldn’t call it Christmas is of no real relevance to me - it’s just a name - what’s important is that we can accept that it’s a time when each and every one of us should be able to do whatever we feel is right on that day. For some, it means absolutely nothing more than presents, for others it’s a time during which they can feel close to and give thanks to their God, for others it’s a time when they can drink and be merry. No doubt there are many, many more reasons why people celebrate Christmas too. Or even why they don't, whatever the case may be.

If we choose to celebrate, can’t we at least do that in peace, without needing to justify why we choose to do so as Atheists, Pagans or Worshippers of Little Green Men from Mars? Nobody has a supreme ‘right’ to Christmas, it’s just a day really, like any other. There’s no proof that Jesus was born that day (in fact, it’s highly unlikely) and nowhere does it say that you have to believe in God (as depicted in the Bible) in order to celebrate it.

Personally, I don’t believe it really has much to do with religion anymore at all. It’s about money. Even if everybody stopped celebrating on grounds of their faith, Christmas would still live on. The money grabbing capitalists would see to that. If anybody, they're probably who Christmas really belongs to these days.

Sharon J xx

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Image Credit: Tom Stardust

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Home Baked Bread Day

It’s not long since it was Canned Pineapple Anniversary Day and now it’s Home Baked Bread Day so c’mon people, get the flour and yeast out and get baking. You know there’s no bread quite as good as home baked bread.

I’m lucky enough to have a bread machine that my mum bought for me about 6 months ago. I don’t have the strength in my wrists for all that kneading anymore so I use the machine to do that part and then usually bake it in the oven rather than in the bread machine. It’s probably me that’s doing something wrong but I’m never entirely satisfied with bread out of the machine whereas the same dough comes out beautiful when it’s done in the oven, either as a loaf or as rolls.

We vary our breads between granary with extra seeds (LM likes her bread really seedy), plain white bread and wholemeal. Sometimes I do a mix of granary and wholemeal, and sometimes I add herbs and stuff to white bread. It all depends on what I fancy at the time.

What I really love about home baked bread is that you know exactly what’s going in it. Well, apart from the times when I use bread mixes for quickness, because they have a few things I’m not sure about in them too, but still they’re not as bad as commercially made shop bought bread that have all sorts of chemicals added to make the dough rise quicker and go further. And the taste just can’t be compared, of course.

If you have kids, today might be a good time to introduce them to the art of bread making. My mum never baked anything other than apple pie so I learned about bread making late in life - my own kids used to love baking bread with me, though. They always had their own roll each in the oven along with the main loaf.

I’m going to be making granary rolls today and will have one with lettuce, ham, cheese & red pepper later. Scrummy!

Sharon J

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Image Credit: z-b

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Canned Pineapple Anniversary Day

Apparently, today is the anniversary of the first canned shipment of pineapple sent from Hawaii way back in 1895. As far as I’ve been able to find, nobody’s entirely sure that the day is actually correct but it’s as good an excuse as any to get out a tin of pineapple out of the cupboard and eat it.

I personally love pineapple, especially the tinned variety. Yes, I know the fresh stuff if probably considered far superior but my taste buds tell me otherwise so there’s always a tin of pineapple chunks or rings in my food cupboard. Sometimes I eat it ‘as is’, occasionally adding a big blob of double cream if I’m feeling particularly decadent, other times I use it in cooking. The following is my favourite recipe that incorporates pineapple.

Hawaiian Pork Casserole

Serves 2

Olive oil
300g pork, diced
1 small onion, chopped
1 garlic clove, crushed and chopped
1/4 red & 1/4 yellow pepper, deseeded and diced
50g mushrooms, sliced
Small can pineapple chunks
1 tbsp tomato puree
Plain flour
300ml vegetable stock
Juice from tin of pineapple chunks
A coupoe of good glugs of red wine
Salt & ground black pepper

1. Preheat oven to gas mark 4 (180c).
2. Heat a little olive oil in a frying pan over medium heat. Bung the sliced onion and crushed garlic in and cook for 2-3 minutes until soft.
3. Stick the peppers and mushrooms in the pan with the onions and cook for a further minute or so. Tip into a casserole dish.
4. Coat the pork in flour, add some more oil to the frying and fry the pork until it’s nice and golden all over. If your frying pan’s small, do this in batches because otherwise you’ll end up boiling the pork which isn‘t a good thing. Put in the casserole dish with the onions and garlic.
5. Pour of a good glug of red wine into the hot pan to deglaze it, scraping up all the bits as it bubbles then pour that into the casserole dish too.
6. Add the stock, another good glug of red wine, and the pineapple juice to the casserole and mix it all up.
7. Cover and cook in the preheated oven for 1 hours 45 minutes.
8. Taste it and stick some ground black pepper in if you think it needs it. Add the pineapple chunks, stir and cook for a further 15 minutes.

This is absolutely delicious served with fluffy white rice and green salad and it’s an apt meal to make on canned pineapple anniversary day being as the first ones came from Hawaii.

Sharon J

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Image Source: Cervus

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My Story of Sparklers

Well it's Bonfire Night, or Guy Fawkes' Night if that's what you prefer to call it, and all over the country kids will be given sparklers.

Once upon a time I saw sparklers as an innocent type of firework that the kids loved to hold and swirl around, making pretty light patterns in the dark. I did it when I was little and so did all of my friends so it was natural that I let my own kids have them.

One New Year‘s Eve, when LM was about 4, we all gathered outside in the deep snow (this was in Norway) to send up our rockets and as usual, I had a pack of sparklers for the children. I gave them one each, lit them and turned my back for a few moments because a neighbour had called out Happy New Year.

Suddenly Lise is tugging at me, telling me that LM’s on fire. I turned around and there she stood, sparkler still in her hand, with her mitten on fire. A mitten that was surrounding her hand! I immediately pushed her hand into the snow, extinguishing the fire and, using the torch we had with us, examined the damage. Luckily, she was wearing padded mittens and the flames hadn’t managed to get right through to her skin, but another few seconds and who knows what the results might have been. And I hate to even think about what would have happened had the sleeve of her snowsuit caught fire!

Sparklers are DANGEROUS! They reach a heat of around 2000 degrees. Considering water boils at 100 degrees, it doesn’t take much imagination to understand just how hot that is! It’s hot enough to melt iron!

If you're celebrating tonight, do enjoy yourself but please, please be careful if you’re giving your children sparklers. It really does only take a moment for a spark to turn into a tragedy. LM was lucky, but it could so easily have been different.

Sharon J

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Image Credit: Tom Olliver

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Halloween & Samhain

I quite like celebrating things that I feel are worthwhile but one thing I shan’t be celebrating this year is Halloween. At least, not in way it’s celebrated these days. I’ll light some candles in honour of those ancestors who have moved over to the spirit world - those who I loved and knew and those that I didn’t but who are each responsible for my own existence. That will be the extent of it though.

I really don’t like what Halloween has become. Sure, it’s fun with spooky stories and such like, it’s not that part of it I have a problem with, it’s the commercialism that’s developed around it that I hate.

These past couples of weeks the shops have been spilling over with tacky, cheap polyester costumes that probably won’t even last the night, let alone be brought back into use again next year, along with a plethora of plastic pumpkins, spiders, skulls, skeletons and lord knows what else. Pumpkins will be carved but few will actually be eaten and far too many won’t even bother to compost the flesh that’s removed. The impact on the environment thanks to this one night and the way we’ve accepted that it should be celebrated because that’s what the shops want us to do, has far too great an impact on the environment for my liking. Whatever happened to making costumes out of old sheets, recycled clothes and the likes and dressing the house with old twigs made to look like witches broomsticks, etc?

And then there’s those who will actually be scared on Halloween. Here on our estate we have flats and houses that are specifically earmarked for people with special needs. Some of those living in these properties were very frightened last year by kids who were banging at their doors in the dark, making strange noises outside their windows and generally larking around. Some understood what was going on but others didn’t and even some of those who did were still worried because, as we all know, kids can sometimes go too far, especially when they’re preying on the weak and vulnerable. Halloween can have the same effect on many older people.

This year the housing association have arranged a ‘walk about’ around the estate with the kids. Hopefully this will ensure that those who are vulnerable won’t be visited and the whole trick or treating process will go smoothly. There will also be games and prizes, the main one being for best ‘home made‘ costume. Hopefully it’ll be a success and parents will put themselves out to make their own costumes instead of nipping down to Asda for a witches dress or skeleton outfit and the plastic rubbish will stay on the shelves because there won’t be a need to decorate the house. And of course, the special needs people won’t be bothered by it. Unfortunately it won’t lessen the impact in the greater scheme of things but as they say, every little helps.

But up in all this mayhem, I wonder how many actually know what Halloween really is? Well originally, in the Christian sense, it was All Hallows Eve - the night before All Hallows Day, the day that Christians honour the saints. But it was around long before that. Samhain is the night before the Pagan new year, so you could call it their new year’s eve. It was, and still is, considered to be the night when the veil between this life and the after life is at its thinnest. The old Celts believed that the spirits of the dead could possess their bodies so they turned out the lights in the hope that the spirits wouldn’t find them but also dressed up as ghouls just in case they were found but would hopefully be able to scare them away again. Nowadays it’s more a celebration of the lives that have gone before and to remember with blessing the year that’s passed.

The catholic church didn’t much like pagan traditions though, so in an attempt to stop all the ‘afterlife’ malarkey they decided to turn Samhain into All Hallows Eve instead. What emerged, however, was Halloween as we generally know it today - a blend of the two. We no longer believe that the dead will come back tonight, but still we hang on to the pagan traditions by telling ghost stories and dressing up in scary costumes. And then the fat cats got on the bandwagon and everything went tits up for the environment!

And yes, I’ll hold up my hand and admit I’ve also dressed up in tacky costumes and bought plastic pumpkins and other such rubbish. I did it when the kids were younger and I wasn’t giving a whole lot of thought to the environment, but then again we didn’t know then what we know today so although I wouldn’t proclaim my innocence entirely, I’d still say I wasn’t being less caring towards the environment than I am now because everything’s relative to your knowledge. I wouldn’t do it now though. No way.

Sharon J

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Image Credit: Darin

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Diwali

Today is the start of Diwali, the Indian festival of light.

Now I’m not Indian, nor do I have any Indian connections, but I do feel that to become a truly diverse but unified society (and in my opinion unification is important - separation just doesn’t do society any good) we should all not only respect one another’s traditions but actually participate in them, to a greater or lesser degree, depending on our spiritual beliefs (some will clash just too much to expect mutual participation) and personal circumstances.

Of course, nobody can be expected to celebrate every event in the calendar of such as diverse society as the UK - we’d probably end up having some kind of celebration every week - but Diwali’s a big one so to mark the occasion, we’re having a candlelit curry tonight.

I'm having a couple of friends over for the evening and LM will be home. I'll be lighting lots of tea lights around the living room, the big candles on the table, and cooking a chicken tikka masala. Yes, before you start shouting about tikka not really being Indian, I know all that but it’s the only curry LM will eat so tikka it will be. Well, that and colonial beef curry, and that’s certainly not authentic Indian either. We’ll have it with rice and naan bread and garnished with fresh coriander (sadly not from my garden - it died) and we'll have a laugh as well as talk about what Diwali is - a celebration of good over evil in humans.

Sometimes it’s difficult to believe that good can and actually does win over evil - what with the papers and telly news being full of stories of murder, rape, bullying and the rest - but there are actually far more good people in this world than bad.

The light that’s celebrated isn’t light as we generally think of it, but the spiritual light within each of us and thus Diwali is a kind of celebration of our spiritual birth as human beings so it’s a time when we should try to learn ways of being more benevolent ourselves in order to being more good into the world and make it a better place for everybody. If that isn’t something worth doing then I don’t know what is.

I’m quite looking forward to it :)

Sharon J

PS: I bet Emma will be having a whale of a time during Diwali and posting some fab photos :)

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