Frumpy Old Bird Does Matalan

I went clothes shopping yesterday. It was only a trip to Matalan and I didn’t spend a fortune but as I’ve increased a size since last summer (this is a good thing) I really wouldn’t have very much to wear at all without adding considerably to my wardrobe. I had one pair of jeans that fit, I’d stained the last pair of trackie bottoms (I love the soft, baggy ones for slouching about in), one pair of cords, a pair of black trousers and a handful of tops that aren’t even all suitable for wearing on a casual day-to-day basis. With spring here and the, hopefully, warmer weather approaching, the situation was becoming dire. This was also the first time I'd bought brand new clothes for so long that I can't even remember the last time.

Originally LM was going to come with me but it was such a lovely day for a trip out today so, as she was working, I asked Richard if he’d come with me. Most men would balk at a clothes shopping trip with a female and that’s without being laden with the job of pushing the wheelchair around and carrying the basket that was getting heavier and heavier. And without the female in question getting herself just a tad stressed up (ok… a bit more than just a tad) because her arms hurt every time she tried to hold something up or reach for something that was just beyond how far she could comfortably stretch, but Richard didn’t complain. I did wheel myself for a while - I didn’t leave it all to him - but my arms aren’t strong enough yet for me to whiz round the way I once used to. I’m sure in many ways it was a frustrating experience for us both but I got a few things I liked and that would work with what I already have so was pleased.

I was even more pleased when Linn Marie had a look at what I’d bought though. Not only did my 20 year old daughter approve of everything I’d bought but two of the items - both summer jumpers - were met with “awww… you should have got me one of those”.

And there was me thinking I was a right old frump. Maybe there’s life in the old bird yet ;-)

Sharon xx

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Amy's Big Walk

I arrived safely back home on Monday evening after a hectic two weeks, went promptly to bed and stayed there until now. I was shattered. How I kept going through that fortnight is a mystery to me but I guess I was running on adrenaline or something and now that I can finally relax, it’s all caught up with me. Not to worry though, it’s just a blip. I’m still feeling a lot fitter than I was a while ago so things are definitely on the up.


Another person who’s pushing herself to her limits is Amy, a young lady who’s probably out there right now, covering the next leg of her long journey from Leeds to Cardiff. Every day for 10 days she’s walking an average of 20 miles a day in order to raise money for Link Community Development, a charity that builds schools for children in Ethiopia, Uganda, Ghana, South Africa and Malawi.

Amy came to stay with us on Wednesday night as a ‘couch surfer’. She found us through couchsurfing.com, a website designed to help travellers find free accommodation for a night or two. I originally signed up when LM was thinking of going travelling, basically just to find out what it was all about, but as being a member means I can probably help a few people by offering them a bed for the night, then so be it. Amy was my first ‘couch surfer’ to come stay and a very nice girl she is too. Very grounded, takes things as they are and asks for very little. In fact, she spent the evening in my bedroom with me, LM and Sam (a friend), perched on the end of my bed. We all shared some stories and had a good laugh though and it was 11pm before she finally dropped into the spare bed. I guess that means she enjoyed herself :)

Now 20 miles a day might not sound like an awful lot to some people but when you consider that a marathon is 26 miles, you suddenly realise that 20 miles a day for 10 consecutive days is actually quite a mammoth task. And Amy hadn’t even trained for this. In fact, she told us that the furthest she’d ever walked before was just 4 miles. Brave girl!

Amy will be going to Uganda in the summer to help build schools. A laudable thing to do, as I’m sure you’ll agree. The world could do with more people like her who are willing to actually put themselves out in order to do something to help those who are less privileged than us.

If you’d like to sponsor Amy, she has a JustGiving page at www.justgiving.com/amyleedsuganda. The minimum amount is £2 I think, but I doubt that’ll break the bank for any of us. And she really does deserve our support. After all, what’s a couple of quid compared to the blood, sweat and tears that she’ll be enduring over the next week?

Go Amy! You’re a star!

Sharon J xx

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Stuff vs. Memories

My daughter and I were chatting last night and the subject eventually came round to the way people are always wanting more - something bigger, better, flashier, more impressive and always more expensive.

She said that she’d much rather look back on a life filled with memories of adventures and experiences that had made an impact on her life, even if only on a spiritual level, because buying stuff doesn’t create lasting memories, not unless there’s been some real blood, sweat and tears put into actually getting it, and those who continuously buy new stuff don’t generally do that.

Do you remember the nights you spent just watching the TV and look back with pleasure? Do you look back on all those days your kids spent in front of the TV playing computer games and smile, laugh or even cry at the wonderful memories? Do you look at your sofa and feel warmed by the memory of buying it?

Do you remember the nights you spent with family and friends and look back with pleasure? Do you look back on all those days your kids spent playing in the woods with you, or learning how to ride a bike, or watching a bird bathe in a puddle and smile, laugh or even cry at the wonderful memories? Do you look at that old sofa and remember cuddles with the kids on it when they were younger?

Things are just things but love, laughter, friendship and experiences are what makes our lives special.

Sharon J xx

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Give and Take - When The Balance Is Off Kilter

I’ve blogged about toxic people before so most of you probably know already that I’ve been doing as much as I can to remove them from my life and clean up any negative emotional debris that they’ve left behind, but somebody recently asked me WHY I see certain people as being toxic, a question that led to quite a lengthy and interesting conversation.

All relationships are based on a trading system - give and take.

When we meet new people, whether or not we become friends with them depends entirely on whether they have something to offer that we need/want in our lives and whether there’s anything we can offer back that’s of value to them. It could be the ability to make you laugh, being a good listening, shared values, helping out with odd jobs, being a travel companion or one the myriad other reasons why we enjoy being with certain people. Usually though, for a close relationship to develop there needs to be several matches from both sides and for things to balance and create a harmonious relationship, there has to be an even amount of give and take from both sides.

When I realised I needed to remove certain people from my life it was because the relationships I had with them were far too unbalanced - I felt I was doing far too much giving in comparison with what I was receiving back. That sounds selfish, and some would say that we should always give without expecting anything in return, but I just can’t see how any long term relationship could survive like that. We may not consciously expect anything back, but our spirits become unhappy when our kindness is being abused.

Obviously all relationships become unbalanced at times - sometimes a friend’s need can become so all consuming that they’re simply not able to give anything back at that time, but when there’s a continuous unequal measure of give and take, a relationship becomes toxic to the person doing the giving. We can become tired, frustrated, lose our confidence and even become depressed, depending on the level of giving that’s expected of us and how many people are abusing their relationships with us.

But not all toxic relationships are based on ‘selfishness’. Some become toxic simply because the original ‘things’ we needed or could give are no longer valid. Perhaps one or both is still loving and kind but just doesn’t have enough to bring to the table anymore to keep the relationship as strong as it once was. This, I believe, is what most often happens when partners come to a point where the only answer is to walk away but don‘t. They keep going back, keep trying, even though they know deep down that the relationship can‘t survive, whether that be a partner, an awkward boss, a friendship or any other kind of relationship. It’s nobody’s fault - people change and so do their needs or ability to give what‘s needed.

Unfortunately, because there were so many people in my life who I felt were doing far too much taking, either on a spiritual, emotional or practical level compared to what they gave (in some cases, nothing at all), I was running myself dry. That was no good to anybody. If I’m run down I’m of not use to those who do deserve my time while the ‘leeches’ will just move on and look for a new ‘victim’.

Since removing certain people from my life, or at least minimising the time I spend with them, I’ve felt I could once again breathe out and take stock of my life; regain the control that I felt I was losing. I’ve worked on clearing the negative energy they’d left behind in me and I’m gradually ridding the house of their residual energy too. The longer time that passes and the more people who have a positive effect on me I have visit, the better the atmosphere becomes. The law of attraction is once again working in the way I need it to and those I spend time with nowadays are giving me what I need and giving back feels so much easier.

Sharon J xx

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Image Credit: Sarah Azavezza

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A Friend, A Loss, A Lesson

A friend died recently. Not a close friend by any means but none the less a person who I probably knew better than many of those who saw her regularly. We were in hospital together five years ago, both having suffered a blood clot that had led to our bowels decaying inside us. It’s a condition experience by very few (thankfully) and thus rather unusual that we were both admitted at more or less the same time. Over the course of several months as in-patients, with our beds next to each other, we were taught how to deal with the major changes that would be necessary to continue to lead anything close to a normal life. We were very different personalities but even so, we developed a bond that was different to what I’ve had with anybody else. We shared something that, unless you have to live with this, you simply can’t truly understand. We shared our innermost thoughts and feelings, sometimes things we just wouldn’t normally talk about. Nothing was taboo.

One of the problems with being an IV feeder is that our immune systems are seriously compromised. A simple bug that most people can shake off in a matter or days - weeks at the most - can kill us. If that bug gets into the feeding line it can then get a foothold in the heart (the line goes into the subclavian artery) and from that point on there isn’t too much hope of survival. This is what happened to my friend.

She had the bug that was going around before Christmas. The same bug as I came back from Malta with. She was given anti-biotics and all seemed to be well but after a four or five days she started to feel poorly again. Her husband took her to their local hospital where she deteriorated quickly. She was then sent to the specialist unit in Manchester (where we first met) where her feeding line was removed but unfortunately it was too late for her. The virus had gone to her heart and although she was put on a heart machine, it didn’t help as other organs then started to shut down. First her kidneys, then her lungs. She died during the night. It all happened very quickly.

Her death has really brought it home to me just how lucky I’ve been. I’ve had two infections in my feeding line but both times they’ve caught it quick enough and I’ve pulled through. My heart hasn’t been damaged.

I’m still struggling with the aftermath of ‘the bug’ myself. It's left me feeling very weak and it’s taking a long time for me to regain any decent amount of stamina. But I’m alive. And for that I’m grateful.

One thing I’ve learned from this - and this is something that her husband said to me - was that avoiding doing what you want to do and never pushing yourself further than you should is no guarantee that you’ll last any longer. It’s better to go being glad that you did the things you did than regretting the things that you didn’t.

Sharon J xx

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Image Credt: knowhimonline

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Stepping Close to 2009

Ever since Christmas Day I’ve found myself reflecting over the year that has passed and thinking about where I’m heading. I’ve not been consciously making resolutions as such, but I’ve given far more serious thought to the mistakes I’ve made this year and how I can avoid them next year, the things I’ve done well this year and whether or not I can improve on them, and the path I want to follow during 2009.

I’ve never really found myself feeling like this at the end of the year before. I’ve never been one for resolutions because they generally get broken anyway, but I think the fact that I’m starting to creep towards 50 now has been playing a role in this. I want to enjoy my life, and I want to enjoy it in a way that feels right for me.

Health

A Ward at Salford Royal Hospital - a place I don't want to see during 2009!

My health is one of the things that’s been foremost on my mind recently. I know I can’t turn the clocks back and live the life I once lived but I can take steps to keep myself out of hospital and as well as possible. I know I’ve been playing with fire recently in more ways than one and could so easily end up regretting it, so certain things need to be changed. I want to squeeze as much as I can out of life and I can’t do that unless I improve my health. I can’t re-grow my bowel or unclog my arteries but I can live a healthier lifestyle and take my medication more seriously, both of which will act as a preventative against my condition falling into further decline and will also help improve my stamina and thus the quality of my life.

Family

My family have also been strongly on my mind. There’s a link between them and my wanting to improve my health situation, quite simply that I doubt any of them would want me to be in a worse state than I need to be or, given the worse case scenario but one that could easily happen, dead.

Paul, when he was a boy


Lise and her partner, Bjørn


LM, taken last summer

But I’ve been thinking about my relationships with various family members too. What mistakes have I made? What can I do to help my family more? What do I expect from them? How can relationships be improved?

Friends

And then there are friends. I’ve written several times before about toxic friends and why we don’t need them in our lives and while I’ve managed to rid myself of most, there are still a couple that drag me down. I don’t need people who make me feel bad about myself - when you’ve lived with an emotional abuser for as long as I did, you very quickly start believing the things they tell you and that’s VERY unhealthy. I’m incredibly susceptible to that kind of suggestion now so will have to ensure that I don’t have ANY of those kind of people in my life anymore. The same goes for those who take pleasure in opposing my opinions ‘just for the sake of it’. I like a good discussion as much as the next person, but I’m sick of just about everything I say to certain people being turned into a debate. I just don’t need that.

On the other hand there are friendships that I need to cultivate more. Those people who I feel truly comfortable around, the ones who accept me for who I am without placing any conditions on our friendship, they’re the ones I want to spend time with. They’re the ones who boost me and help me believe that I’m capable of being whatever I want to be. They see beyond my limitations and accept that I sometimes need to push the boundaries and try things that may or may not work out, even though they maybe wouldn’t try them themselves.

Friends can, of course, be family members too.

For the first time in too long I’ve started taking my life seriously. Instead of thinking about de-cluttering, getting rid of debts and worrying over the environment I’ve started thinking about ME and how I can improve my life on a more personal level. After all, if you don‘t respect your emotional and physical needs, no amount of financial security or green living is going to make you happy. Our own sense of well-being is what everything else is built upon.

This coming year I’m going to be who I am regardless of what others think of me, take serious steps to improve my health, enjoy being part of a small family unit, put myself where I want to be, and surround myself with people who I enjoy whilst still trying to be as green and frugal as I can.

Sharon J xx

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A Painting and Other Things

After having a wonderful Christmas dinner that turned out just as it should, we opened our presents and all three of us were lucky enough to receive some lovely things.




Notice the Disney films? I collect the animated feature films and LM had bought me four! Aladdin, The Little Mermaid, Pocahontas and Dumbo. Lise bought me The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspain so I’ve plenty to watch this week :)

One present really brought tears to my eyes though.




This is a picture that my best friend Jo painted for me. Now she’ll be the first to admit that she’s no Van Gogh but there’s a story to this.

About a month or so ago she came to stay for a girly weekend. We had a laugh, solved the world’s problems (as you do) and went off on a zillion tangents. At one point we were talking about our dream homes. Mine’s a little white cottage that’s overlooking the sea, with flowers in window boxes and an old fashioned garden out the front. There would be a little wood nearby where I could go for cool picnics and be close to the trees and the animals that live there, and there would be mountains in the distance. Somehow Jo had managed to remember all of those details, got hold of a canvas and painted my vision!

Now this is a woman who has a young family to look after, a responsible job that keeps her busy, her grandmother’s been ill during the run up to Christmas meaning she’s had to travel from Manchester to Blackpool several times a week to make sure she’s ok, and she obviously had all the demands that running a home otherwise brings with it. And yet somehow, amidst this and the Christmas rush, she managed to find the time to paint this for me. Can you wonder that I had tears in my eyes?

Happy Twixmas, everyone.

Sharon J xx

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Merry Christmas

I hope each and every one of you has the kind of Christmas you're hoping for. Thank you for keeping me company on my journey through life this year, for being so kind, interesting and funny. You've all helped make life a bit more special.



Sharon J xx

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Simply Spreading A Bit of Bloggy Love

Hi, I'm A Piece of Wood from the blog of the same name and I have to say I felt a bit like Stan Laurel when Sharon asked me to do a guest post, literally scratching my head wondering what to write about.

I've been blogging on and off for about 2 years. I spent the first year in relative isolation, with a private blog and then another one that no one read, which suited me fine at the time, but as my main focus for blogging changed earlier this year, so did my blog. I'm all about a green, simple and frugal life and as I started to blog about these things, within weeks I'd found others that were doing exactly the same.

If you think about the similarities between the blogging world and real life, blogging for me is like 'living' in a community. Everyone is similar in some aspects, but so different in others. It's like having neighbours in your computer, that will give you advice, share their experiences, offer opinions, help you out if they can and sometimes seriously put the world back into perspective for you. Bloggers seem to gravitate towards other bloggers that share like minded goals or whom have gone through similar experiences. Just click on blogrolls and you invariably find a whole host of other blogs similar to the writers. I spend way too many an hour surfing blogrolls, but have found some great blogs that way.

It's strange when you think about the different ways people come into your life, but blogging really made me stop and think about just that.

I find it pretty amazing how much kindness, friendship and warmth comes across the web. This is never more evident when for whatever reason, you have a day where life just isn't working out the way you planned, but when you get online, you find a comment from someone who probably doesn't know you, has never met you and probably never will, but whom has taken the time to read your post and comment back.

Many a time, I've read a comment that has cheered me up, made me giggle,or just made me beam from ear to ear. For me, you can't get much more simple than that.

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Image Credit: Andy Piper

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When Time Doesn't Go Far Enough

Image: Donna Cymek

What should a person do when time just doesn’t stretch far enough to satisfy everybody who wants a piece of it?

I love spending time with people but I also equally love spending time alone. I generally have a decent balance in the two but just lately I’ve felt under pressure to spend more time with some people than I’ve been able. Well, I could spend more time with them but that would mean I’d either have to give up some of my alone time or spend less time with other people. Or a combination of both. I don’t want to do either.

I truly believe that we MUST look after our own needs first and right now I just don’t have the time to give to those who are asking for more of it. I don’t want to hurt them by rejecting them but that’s what usually happens. They don’t seem to understand that there are many people in my life, all of whom I enjoy spending time with because each of them brings something different to my life, and I only have so much to share between them all. Some get more than others, granted, but that’s only natural. Similarly some get very little.

What can I do? Am I being selfish by saying no? Is it me there’s something wrong with when I feel tense and stressed because people are expecting more of me than I’m able to offer?

Sharon J

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What A Wonderful Friend

The Vienna Festival Ballet are going to be performing Swan Lake in Crewe at the end of the month. Swan Lake is one of the ballets that I’ve always wanted to see but have never had the chance to and the Vienna Festival Ballet are famous for performing classical ballets that are kept true to the original, just the way I like them.

I really wanted to see it but knew I couldn’t spent yet another £20 on entertainment this month. If it’d been a tenner then fair enough, but twenty quid was just too much. This saddened me somewhat but I have other priorities that had to come first.

Enter my friend Jo.

Knowing how much I wanted to go, she donated the extra tenner and told me to book that ticket pronto! She wouldn’t hear of anything else and told me it was as much for her as for me because then she’d get to hear all about it; the costumes, the sets…. everything.

Yesterday Richard went to the Lyceum and bought my ticket. I’m in more of less the same seat as when I went to see Annie (LM is coming with me this time too - she also loves the ballet) so we’ll have a good view and… oh, I just can’t wait! I’m gonna wee myself soon, I’m that excited!

What would life be without good friends?

Love you, Jo xx


Sharon J

UPDATE: After Jo gave it to me, I'd bunged the 'tenner' in my skirt pocket. When I got it out today to replace the money I'd taken out of my grocery envelope, I discovered that there were actually two! She'd paid for the whole ticket! Joanne... you're too good to me. Really, you are.

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Things Aren't So Simple

Image: ToniVC

Following yesterday’s post, I thought I’d better let you all know that I’m feeling a lot better today. I still didn’t sleep well but for different reasons this time (medical reasons) and although I’m tired today, my mind feels more at ease.

What IS bugging me though is the fact that this simplicity lark that I’m so determined to keep hold of just seems to keep slipping away from me. This is why:

1. Keeping On Top Of Things
Although I’ve de-cluttered considerably there’s still a long way to go and I just don’t seem to be able to keep up with it. Because I tire really quickly, there always seems to be other stuff that needs doing and even the general day to day running of the house can become too much for me at times. When the floors need cleaning, the kitchen looks as if a war’s been fought in it, the washing basket’s overflowing and the window’s are so dirty I can hardly see out of them anymore, de-cluttering is the last thing I have time for. I do a little now and then (I de-cluttered the shelves and baskets underneath the coffee table at the weekend) but it’s never enough.

Maybe I’m just attacking things in the wrong way or something but if there’s one thing I regret it’s letting it get this way in the first place! Why oh why did I ever think I needed all this junk?

2. People
I’ve really tried hard to keep toxic people out of my path but it’s not always possible. Some people I just have to tolerate because of circumstances. I can’t go into what those circumstances are as I wouldn’t like anybody to recognise themselves, or even think they recognise themselves, but a couple of them are people I really don’t need or want in my life.

For some reason I tend to attract those who are down on their luck and that’s ok, but when they starting taking the Jimmy out of me, it’s not ok anymore. Far from it. I don’t hesitate to tell them about themselves, and have done on numerous occasions, but still they persist and there’s sod all I can do about it.

These people cause me unnecessary stress EVEN THOUGH they know that stress can make me seriously ill. Stress is not good when you’re trying to live a simple life.

3. People II
Because I tend to attract people who have had a less than easy life (and I guess that’s because like attracts like), a lot of my friends are struggling with personal problems. My problem is that I get too emotionally involved and again, that leads to stress.

And that IS my problem, not theirs. They haven’t asked me to get so involved, nor have they expected it of me, but it’s part of my nature I guess, and probably something I’m just going to have to live with.

I have learned to distance myself to a certain degree - I don’t get as involved as I once would have done - but even so, I notice that there are times when I need to put my own needs before theirs and that doesn’t always happen.

Is it really possible to live simply in a house that feels chaotic most of the time, and with friends whose problems I take onboard a little too often? Not to mention the ones who aren’t friends but who I have to endure but who suck me dry emotionally. Is it? Please tell me it is.

It's a new month - maybe I just need to 'regroup' and decide on a plan of action. I just have to figure out what that should be first.

Sharon J

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The Black Sheep

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One of my cousins has her birthday today. She’ll be 48 too.

We grew up together and share a lot of history but eventually she moved to another part of the country and we didn’t see each other quite as much. Then I moved to Norway and, apart from Christmas card, we lost touch.

One of the things I did when I got back to England was to get back in touch with her. We hit it off pretty well and would phone each other about once a month to share family gossip and generally have a laugh. We weren’t what I’d describe as close but we definitely had a friendship.

The rest of my family were still pretty much outside of my social and family networks though. I’d have the occasional chat with one or two on the phone, email with a couple of others but that was the extent of it. Those people who had all lived within walking distance of our house when I was little were now spread around Essex and East Anglia.

My dad was no doubt to blame for a lot of the ‘coolness‘. He decided about fifteen years ago that he no longer wanted anything to do with two of his sisters and their families. I know why but I can’t see that it was good enough reason to cut all contact with them, but that was his choice. My cousin would tell me about family christenings, silver anniversaries and all sorts that we’d never been invited to. And yes, it hurt. As far as I knew I’d done nothing to deserve that kind of treatment.

Anyhow, one day I received an email from another cousin, an email that I found particularly vulgar. It was outright racist propaganda in the form of a joke (remember the one that some government minister was hauled up for having forwarded?) and I really didn’t find it funny. I told her so, she replied saying that we’re all entitled to our opinions and that was that. Or so I thought.

Unfortunately somebody I forwarded it to (not as a funny joke but just to show him how disgusting it was) traced the email address that it had come to me via and contacted my cousin’s boss, telling him that she’d been using company emails to send out such dirt. As he’s Asian himself, I can only imagine what his reaction would have been.

Fast forward a few weeks and a letter arrives in the post. It’s from the cousin concerned and basically tells me that she knows I was behind it all and that I was hiding behind the other person’s name and that the whole family are so disgusted with me that I can no longer consider myself part of them.

Riiiight. Ok. If that’s the way they want it then it isn’t really such a big loss to me - it was years since I’d ever felt I had an extended family so I wasn’t likely to miss it much. What upset me though was the fact that they’d just jumped to conclusions without even consulting me first. I’m guessing they traced the domain name registration that the email came from and found out that I’d registered it. What they obviously didn’t think of though, is that a domain name doesn’t have to be used by the person who registers it. I’d register this particular one for the person who did send the email because I built their website.

I’ve since called the cousin I got along with but she was clearly uncomfortable. There have been no phone calls from her since, and no texts. I didn’t even get a birthday card, something she always used to remember. Having lost her trust is what saddens me by it all - the rest of them I’m really not bothered about. But I guess that’s just life for you. People come and go.

I’ve still sent her a birthday card though.

Sharon J

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Making Friends

Image: EJP

I was watching an old programme on Sky a while back where a couple of mature singles were being ‘taught’ how to meet new people. Basically, they taught them how to be more approachable themselves, how to approach others, how to hold an interesting conversation and a bit about body language. They also taught them how to improve their social lives to give them a better chance of actually meeting new people. It was, of course, aimed at singles looking for love.

Now I’m not looking for love but the programme got the old thinking cogs whirling. I’ve lived here for about seven years now and still know relatively few people in the area. I’m not entirely friendless but it would be nice to have a few more people in my social circle but while it was easy to meet and get to know others when I was younger - most of the close friends I've had have been met through either my children or work etc - it isn’t so easy anymore. I don’t go out to work and I don’t have young children.

So what’s a girl to do?

I’ve already met one good friend though a writers' group that I was once a member of and as this person also teaches new age philosophy at his home, I’ve got to know some of the others on a “see you at the next meeting” basis. There’s at least one woman there who I’d like to get to know better, possibly two, but unless one of us makes the first move, it isn’t going to happen.

There’s really only one way to go and that’s for me to invite her to meet up for coffee, lunch or something.

I’ve decided that from now on I’m going to be bolder. If I feel I get along with somebody, I’m going to extend some kind of invitation. I know there’s a chance that some will say yes but then never contact me (although I imagine that would be a bit embarrassing for them if they plan to continue going to whatever group we’ve met through), and some may well turn me down point blank but that’s a chance I’m going to have to take. In the big scheme of things, it doesn’t really matter. And it can’t be anywhere near as bad as having to approach a member of the opposite sex in what one could call a ‘flirty manner’ and, believe me, I’ve done that enough times in the past [gulp!]. In fact, thinking back on it, I only got to know one of the closest friends I've ever made because we'd hit it off at a nightclub where we'd met through a mutual friend and, on her suggestion, had exchanged phone numbers and later met up to get slaughtered for a drink.

I’m definitely going to be more aware of the people I meet and, if they share any of my core values and seem approachable, I’ll make my move (hmmm….sounds a bit predatory, doesn‘t it?)

Friends aren’t going to come knocking on my door but people are everywhere. It's just a matter of finding the right ones.

Sharon J

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Scans, Birthdays, Fish and Kittens

Lise, being all pouty

Today is a special day. It's my older daughter's 22nd birthday and the day I get to meet my new kitten for the first time.

It's hard to believe it's so long since my first baby girl was born. It's funny how every detail of the moment we first meet our babies sticks with us forever, isn't it? I can remember it as if it were just last week. She looked pretty much like she does now, just less hair and smaller :)

But back to today. This afternoon I’m off to the hospital for a bone scan. My doctor's concerned that I may be developing osteoporosis, a condition that’s common amongst those on long-term TPN, so he naturally wants it checked. Apparently it’s a simple, painless procedure so nothing I ought to be dreading. I’ve no idea how long it’ll be before I get the results but as I’m not the kind to worry about what might happen, I shan’t be losing any sleep over it.

As my appointment’s late afternoon I’m hoping that the local fish n’ chip shop will be open when I’ve finished. Richard and I discovered it by accident a couple of years ago and they have the best fish n’ chips in the whole world there. Well maybe not, being as I haven’t tasted food from every chippie, but it’d take a lot to beat it. Once fed we’ll be heading to my friend Jo’s house as she’s the proud ‘human mum’ of six kittens, one of which is called Jack and will be coming to live with me in about two weeks from now.




Isn’t he gorgeous? I haven’t seen him in real life yet so I’m dead excited. Jo has sent me regular photo updates and even made me a video clip so I feel as if I know him already but being able to actually stroke him and give him a cuddle, that’s gonna be the perfect way to round off the day. Seeing Jo again will be good, too. And her other half if he isn't working late. They’re such a great couple.

But all that isn’t until later. There’s a whole day to be enjoyed first. I shall be taking it very easy, though. Mustn’t knock myself out when I have to travel, be put through a scanner, eat fish n’ chips and visit a kitten : )

Sharon J xx

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Mountain Life

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Did you know that I once lived up a mountain? I don’t know how high up the house was but the road certainly didn’t go any further and it was possible to walk from our place to the top without too much trouble.

We weren’t there long, but it was an experience I wouldn’t be without. The house itself was a bit of a shack – you could look between the floorboards from the second floor and watch what was going on downstairs, the only heating was a wood burner in the living room, and when the wind blew it felt as if it would fall down. No wonder we found the midnight thunder storm exciting! It did have hot water and a shower though which helped a lot.

The house we lived in

It’s more redeeming feature was, without a shadow of doubt, the view. From the living room and patio it looked out through a valley between two other mountains, out towards the sea (you had to climb a bit further up the mountain to actually see as far as the sea) and it was spectacular. Like something I’d never imagined! Living in Norway I’d seen some pretty amazing views before but having that right outside my house every morning was incredible. What’s more, every morning at around 9.30 an eagle used to fly across the valley. I’d never seen a wild eagle before so you can imagine how mind-blowing that was to watch. Strangely enough, I never saw it fly back the other way.

There was one bus a day from our mountain and into the nearest village. It was the school bus really but anybody could catch a ride. Being as I didn’t have a car at the time, you'll understand that organisation was essential if I wasn’t going to run out of essential supplies. Luckily, a lady I’d befriended – and who I’m still friends with today – used to offer to drive me down with her but that wasn’t too often. We used to enjoy a lot of time together though. Her house was about a 20 minute walk from mine (houses were few and far between up there) but that didn’t matter – the walk was always enjoyable whether at 2 in the afternoon or 2 at night.

A local farmer used to come up with his horse and cart a couple of times a week and took the kids out for a ride. They were always welcome at the farm, too. DD2 learned to ride there.

Strangely enough, during my short spell on that mountain I made more friends than I have in six years in the street I live in now. I wonder why that is? Any suggestions? The people of Bontveit were open, honest and hard-working; they had a real respect and understand of nature and the part they played in it. There was no place for misplaced sympathy – sheep had to be slaughtered and if the dog was too ill to live, the shot gun came out. But the sheep roamed freely on the mountainside while they lived and the dog was treated with the greatest respect.

Living there was, my friends, truly living the simple life. It was a very happy time for all of us.

Sharon J xx