I had the most awful night last night. I alternated between feeling insanely hot, throwing the duvet off and allowing the fresh breeze from the window to cool me, and feeling as if I’d just been run over by a bus. Every part of my body felt weak and painful, and the fact that I kept having to run for the loo didn’t help. All I can say is “Thank God for Tena Lady”.
I’m feeling a little better this morning, after finally settling down and getting a few hours sleep. Considering I first tried sleeping at around 8pm last night and wasn’t successful until about 4 this morning, I’m obviously still very tired. I’ll probably have a nap later.
I was supposed to see my specialist doctor at clinic on Tuesday but because of the nasty cold I have, I couldn’t attend, so I still have no idea why I’ve lost so much weight and feel as if I have to fight to take just a few steps. Admittedly, I’ve felt a little stronger this past week, but the improvement certainly hasn’t been enough to have any significant impact. I now have a new appointment in a fortnight.
My biggest fear is that they’ll keep me in hospital. I really don’t want that this soon after the last lot. Bills end up going unpaid, and that can lead to all sorts of trouble when you’re already in debt and have ‘agreements’ going. If only every company would accept direct debits or standing orders, but they don’t.
I’ve also found a letter dating back to February telling me that I have a liability order issued against me for outstanding council tax that I didn’t even know I had. Apparently they can send the bailiffs round now. Greeeat! That’s just what I needed. I’ll have to phone them this afternoon and find out what this is all about and, presumably, make some kind of offer.
It seems to me that while I’m doing what I can to improve my own life and, inadvertently, the lives of others through simplifying, everything else seems to be going against me, making life more difficult, instead.
I’ll just have to keep fighting though. It’s something I’ve had to do all my life so it’s not as if I’m not used to it. I just wonder sometimes where the energy is going to come from.