Friday, 14 March 2008

Life’s Not So Simple


Photo: b3ni


I had the most awful night last night. I alternated between feeling insanely hot, throwing the duvet off and allowing the fresh breeze from the window to cool me, and feeling as if I’d just been run over by a bus. Every part of my body felt weak and painful, and the fact that I kept having to run for the loo didn’t help. All I can say is “Thank God for Tena Lady”.

I’m feeling a little better this morning, after finally settling down and getting a few hours sleep. Considering I first tried sleeping at around 8pm last night and wasn’t successful until about 4 this morning, I’m obviously still very tired. I’ll probably have a nap later.

I was supposed to see my specialist doctor at clinic on Tuesday but because of the nasty cold I have, I couldn’t attend, so I still have no idea why I’ve lost so much weight and feel as if I have to fight to take just a few steps. Admittedly, I’ve felt a little stronger this past week, but the improvement certainly hasn’t been enough to have any significant impact. I now have a new appointment in a fortnight.

My biggest fear is that they’ll keep me in hospital. I really don’t want that this soon after the last lot. Bills end up going unpaid, and that can lead to all sorts of trouble when you’re already in debt and have ‘agreements’ going. If only every company would accept direct debits or standing orders, but they don’t.

I’ve also found a letter dating back to February telling me that I have a liability order issued against me for outstanding council tax that I didn’t even know I had. Apparently they can send the bailiffs round now. Greeeat! That’s just what I needed. I’ll have to phone them this afternoon and find out what this is all about and, presumably, make some kind of offer.

It seems to me that while I’m doing what I can to improve my own life and, inadvertently, the lives of others through simplifying, everything else seems to be going against me, making life more difficult, instead.

I’ll just have to keep fighting though. It’s something I’ve had to do all my life so it’s not as if I’m not used to it. I just wonder sometimes where the energy is going to come from.

Sharon x

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7 comments:

Chris said...

Hi Sharon, so concerned to hear about this problem or should I say the problems. I hope as I type you are sleeping and when you manage to log on again you will be a little stronger. Can your GP help at all? I know in these situations GP's are often reluctant to do very much , if indeed there is anything they can do but please don't struggle on as poorly as this all weekend.
I can fully understand the thoughts of not wanting to be admitted and I am so sorry you live with this fear at the mo....but we often have to have a stay in these NHS hotels to get sorted a little more.
I am also sorry to hear of the situ re financial things. I hope you can get some help to contact the people you need to and they will be understanding and hel address the things to sort it all out. Tell them you might be admitted and get a name of whoever you speak to and dept so you know for the future in case they say you didn't call! Sorry gone into overdrive with this message and not preeching to the already expereinced ...just trying to offer some care and support from 5 hours away!
Take care and I will keep checking for messages in case there is an update from you later on!
Off to do my drugs now and have a sleep myself! My GP appt this morning has left me worn out plus being on the dometetos ( strong antibiotics see blog!) doesn't help my energy levels either! !
thinking of you ...oh and leave the rebellious patient act to me! I am officially little miss rebel and that is on the blog too!!

K said...

Sharon,
That is so frustrating! You really do have a lot working against you! No wonder you feel awful. I am glad to hear that you will keep on fighting. I hope that you find enough bits and pieces of energy to grasp on to to get through!

Cherry Rolfe said...

So sorry to hear about your trials. I work at a Credit Union and have just interviewed a lady today who is in dire straits after a breakdown. Having never had any debts, she now has a wad of nasty letters - some for less than £20 that will destroy her credit rating and leave her prey to doorstep lenders. If you do have a Credit Union nearby it is worth asking them for assistance - some can do bill payments for you. They are all about keeping money within the community for the community, and treating people as individuals, not columns of addition and subtraction. Hope the sleep improves soon - its a buggar.

Chris said...

Hi Sharon!

How are you today? Hope you are still at home and also feeling a lot better too..(if not I won't repeat my previous message here!!)

Thanks for the message on my blog. I don't know enough about Credit Unions to comment and so will find out when I can!

Thanks

Sharon J said...

Cherry. I did look into our local credit union but while I'm able to manage the debts (except the Council Tax thing, which came as a complete shock) I'd rather just carry on the way I am. If things do get worse, I'll have a word with them once I'm able to get out of the house again. Thanks for mentioning it, though.

Chris. Same as yesterday, really. Woke up at 2am and couldn't get back to sleep, try as I might. Ended up sitting in bed with my embroidery.

happyhippychick said...

Just alittle note from to say I'm thinking of you - I know how rotten it is when you can't sleep (I have problems sleeping on a Sunday night which is really annoying) as it makes other things feel worse

I hope you get the rotten council tax sorted out - they are so dire - for over 4 years my local one tried to back charge me each year for when I was at college, luckily I had kept all the correspondence but it was a nightmare having to go down to the office year after year to to prove they were in the wrong

I do hope you feel a bit better soon - big hugs to you

Debi said...

With all this stress it's no wonder you're feeling sleepless and drained.

It's so unfair when you know finding simplicity is the answer but life just won't let you ...

If it was me, I would escape into fiction world and right all the wrongs there. Are you still writing?
If not, is that an option?

Hugs xxx