I was watching an old programme on Sky a while back where a couple of mature singles were being ‘taught’ how to meet new people. Basically, they taught them how to be more approachable themselves, how to approach others, how to hold an interesting conversation and a bit about body language. They also taught them how to improve their social lives to give them a better chance of actually meeting new people. It was, of course, aimed at singles looking for love.
Now I’m not looking for love but the programme got the old thinking cogs whirling. I’ve lived here for about seven years now and still know relatively few people in the area. I’m not entirely friendless but it would be nice to have a few more people in my social circle but while it was easy to meet and get to know others when I was younger - most of the close friends I've had have been met through either my children or work etc - it isn’t so easy anymore. I don’t go out to work and I don’t have young children.
So what’s a girl to do?
I’ve already met one good friend though a writers' group that I was once a member of and as this person also teaches new age philosophy at his home, I’ve got to know some of the others on a “see you at the next meeting” basis. There’s at least one woman there who I’d like to get to know better, possibly two, but unless one of us makes the first move, it isn’t going to happen.
There’s really only one way to go and that’s for me to invite her to meet up for coffee, lunch or something.
I’ve decided that from now on I’m going to be bolder. If I feel I get along with somebody, I’m going to extend some kind of invitation. I know there’s a chance that some will say yes but then never contact me (although I imagine that would be a bit embarrassing for them if they plan to continue going to whatever group we’ve met through), and some may well turn me down point blank but that’s a chance I’m going to have to take. In the big scheme of things, it doesn’t really matter. And it can’t be anywhere near as bad as having to approach a member of the opposite sex in what one could call a ‘flirty manner’ and, believe me, I’ve done that enough times in the past [gulp!]. In fact, thinking back on it, I only got to know one of the closest friends I've ever made because we'd hit it off at a nightclub where we'd met through a mutual friend and, on her suggestion, had exchanged phone numbers and later met up
I’m definitely going to be more aware of the people I meet and, if they share any of my core values and seem approachable, I’ll make my move (hmmm….sounds a bit predatory, doesn‘t it?)
Friends aren’t going to come knocking on my door but people are everywhere. It's just a matter of finding the right ones.