Friday, 7 November 2008

Losing The Passion



I’ve always been a pretty passionate kind of person, one of those who throws herself into things, wanting to know as much about it as possible and to do it as well as I can and over the course of my 48 years, my passions have been many.

One passion that’s been a thread throughout my life, right from when I was a little girl, is writing. I’d write in notebooks, on serviettes, on the backs of bus tickets and… well, on just about anything it’s possible to write on. And for a good few years, my main income was through writing.

But not now. The passion’s gone. I’ve no idea where it’s gone - maybe somebody half inched it while I wasn’t looking for all I know, but gone it is.

I still enjoy writing my blog, it’s ‘writing proper’ that’s gone. I have no muse when it comes to fiction and non-fiction, unless I’m writing about something that I particularly want to write about, leaves me cold. It just doesn’t interest me anymore. I try, believe me I do, but the words just don’t come. Not in a way that’s worth putting on paper, anyhow.

I’m thinking it’s time to accept that it’s gone.

I knit but I’m not passionate about that either. I sew and cross-stitch but there’s no passion behind them either. I cook from scratch but without the real passion that I once felt. There is no passion in me right now.

What’s happening? Why do I feel this way? It’s like I’m empty, just waiting for passion to come marching back and push me into gear again. I’m sure it will eventually but it’s the waiting I don’t like. Having no passion doesn’t sit well with me.

Sharon J

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11 comments:

Teena said...

Excuse me? Blog writing is and ART FORM! You seem to have this uncanny knack of turning a simple subject to one of interest and keep your audience glued reading and commenting. I love your posts!
xoxox

Kristy Harris said...

Sharon,

maybe it is that blog writing has filled the void for you. Also, I don't wonder if while we are so busy being busy, that the items that are so in need of "leisure" writing, the arts, music and the like aren't left struggling to be found. Prose takes time. Passion ebbs and flows. I hope it flows again soon for you!

kethry said...

i would also consider whether you're possibly suffering from mild depression. I know when i'm in one of my "down" cycles, that i lose passion for things. but they do come back (the passion), and you can fight depression, its as hard as hell, but it can be done.

*hugggggggggs*

keth
xx

Jade of the Jungle said...

Sharon I think your blog writing is great, so even if you feel like you've lost the passion you certainly haven't lost the knack!

I love writing too, all I ever wanted to be for the longest time was a writer and am working my way through novel no. 1 at the moment. It's not going to be of any interest to anyone but I write for me because I find it so theraputic.

I do find that it comes in fits and starts. Sometimes you'll just read something so beautifully worded, or come across a poem so powerful, or experience something so momentus that it just makes you want to pin it down into written word. So I think your passion will start up again, when it's the right time. After all, it would be very tiring and entirely all too consuming to have a flame burning about something all day every day :)

What you might need to do is just take this time to observe, take things in (maybe that's what this blog is about) and when you're ready you'll pick up the pen again. I hope you do, you're wonderful at it.

J x

Jennifer said...

Hi Sharon
I think you should consider the holidays coming up as an excuse to try and find your passion for life. Scour the internet for xmas recipes or gifts you could easy make for someone (even if it is an edible gift!) or think of a few really autumnal gorgeous dishes like a pumpkin soup or pie or banana cranberry walnut bread or just something from your childhood memories around the holidays.

Hope this helps! Hugs! :D

jen

Little Terraced House said...

Hiya, Sharon, well to echo others, you sure haven't lost the passion within the writing for your blog !
As for everything else, I lost my passion a while ago and I also think that it was also a wee touch of depression (also maybe a hormone age thing too) I am sure it will return (mine did) even though it took a little while.
Big hugs Babs xx

V. Higgins said...

Oh, I know what you mean. From my experience it's a cycle kind of thing. I would go through times when my passion was my drive and then, no matter how hard I tried, it was just gone. I think it's my body/spirit/mind telling me that rest is ok.
Just my $0.02 :-)

Sharon J said...

@ Teena. Thanks for that. I always feel my blog posts are pretty run-of-the-mill really but it's nice to know you don't think so :)

@ Kristy Harris. The blog definitely fills the void to some extent, yes, but it isn't enough. I think that's mostly because I feel quite passionate about all things simple, frugal and green though, rather than the actual writing. I understand that things go in waves but mine's been ebbing for far too long. But then I'm an impatient type of person so perhaps that why it feels that way.

@ Kethry. Mmmm... a little, maybe. I've had a few issues going on recently that have been taking up space in my head so perhaps there simply hasn't been room for passions. I don't think I'm depressed to the point where I need to fight it though. Been there before and this is different.

@ Jade. I've always written for me too. I found inspiration everywhere (my OH was always wondering how I could keep coming up with new ideas) but then when it became my job it wasn't for me anymore. It became formuliac which in turn felt tedious. That was probably the beginning of the end when it came to killing that particular passion. Not entirely sure what happened to the others though but I've given it a lot of thought and think I may have an idea. I'll come back to it in a blog post later.

Enjoy the novel :)

@ Jennifer. Thanks for trying to help, it's really appreciated, but the feeling of pressure I have at the moment when it comes to finishing gifts for Christmas is, I think, part of the problem. I've decided instead that what gets done gets done, what doesn't is just too bad.

@ Little Terraced House. I hadn't thought of the hormonal possibility. I'm definitely menopausal and have been for a couple of years now so part of the answer could well be found there.

@ V. Higgings. Thanks for your two cents worth. Yes, perhaps I just need to take a step back and let things happen along their natural path :)

Debi said...

Hormones ... grey dismal damp days ... Life cycles ... could be any and all of 'em.

I find I get down when I'm not writing for whatever reason and that then makes it harder to apply myself to it. Vicious circle.

But whenever I do manage to break it, it's like coming home. A breath of fresh air. Hope the air around you freshens too. xxx

WebSmith said...

Yeah, it hit me too.

I was writing everyday for months and everything seemed to give me an idea. I could write about anything and attract people to my websites. Then all of a sudden, I had no interest and no passion.

Sharon J said...

@ Debi. It probably is a mixture of a lot of things and no doubt the air will freshen soon. I'm not going to push it though - things happen when they're meant to :)

@ Websmith. It's not only the writing but everything else. However, I did feel a glimmer of passion last night and that was good. Not about writing, more about getting on with a few things that had been put on hold for a while.