Monday, 13 October 2008

Comparing Ourselves To Others - The Good and The Bad



When we compare ourselves to others we can often feel negative because they're better at something than we are or have something we don’t. BUT comparing ourselves with others can also motivate us to do better. I know that when I realised just how good a saver my mum has been, even though times have been very hard for her, I compared myself and how I’d got into debt instead of saving and was motivated to sort my finances out and save more myself.

There are areas where comparison is natural, like during sports events. But in those situations there are rules to be followed whereas life in general has no such rules.

Comparing ourselves to others has almost become a cultural norm in the UK and undoubtedly in many other parts of the world, too.

There’s a huge difference between comparing yourself to others with envy and learning from their successes and failures though. Isn’t it better to use comparisons to improve rather than berate yourself?

Life isn’t some kind of competition - it’s a personal journey to be lived in the way that’s best suited to the individual. When we start trying to live like ‘everybody else’, we end up losing our own sense of purpose and can even forget who we actually are. I know all about that because it’s happened to me and as much as we may believe it, the grass truly isn’t greener on the other side.

It’s really just a matter of putting more focus on going where you want to go with your life and who you really are instead of trying to follow the pathes of others? When you’re enjoying who you are, what you're doing and what you have, it’ll won’t matter that you’re not great at drawing, dancing the jitterbug or doing cartwheels, don’t own your own home, drive a fancy car or earn as much as your neighbour. All that will really matter is what you have, what you believe, where you’re heading and what your personal place is in the big scheme of things.

Sharon J

~~+~~

Stumble Upon Toolbar

41 comments:

Sharon Rose said...

Hi there-a great post. It's essential to appreciate what you have already as opposed to what you think you want in life.

Gavin said...

Wise words indeed Sharon. Once you learn to love yourself (not in a self centred way), then you can truely love others. Keeping up with the 'Jones' really sucks and envy gets you nowhere.

Gav

Sharon J said...

@ Sharon Rose. I think a lot of us tend to think we want things that we don't. I put it down to the 'magic' of advertising.

@ Gavin. I so agree. Envy is a horrible thing and jealousy even worse. People who are like that just make me want to stay well out of their paths.

notesfromthefrugaltrenches.com said...

It is certainly about being true to yourself and that is never a bad thing!

What a great post!

Jade of the Jungle said...

It's also about comparing yourself with others on the right things. There are traits I see in people that I aspire to have, because it will make me a happier, more well rounded person.(and sometimes I see a character trait in a person and think phew, at least I'm not that horrid/obsessive/bitchy/boring!)

j x

Lizzie said...

I am like Jade. If I see somethng I like in someone then I think it opens my eyes to what I can be/have. Like voluntering, just for an example. It never occurs to you (me!) that this could be you and suddenly it seems so obviously a part of life which is missing. Okay, it made sense in my head even if not brilliant written down!
Lizzie

donna said...

great post sharon! your writing is so inspirational. i think in order to become content we have to stop comparing ourselves to others- it's not easy thing to do , infact we are encouraged to compare ourselves to friends people in the media etc, but i think even being aware of the problems this leads to can help.

Jack said...

What an insightful post. I mean, it's all very intuitive, but it's always nice to see it written out that way. Thanks Sharon!

J

http://adventuresinvoluntarysimplicity.blogspot.com/

Sharon J said...

@ Frugal Trenches. Too true :)

@ Jade. Absolutely. As I said, it was through my mum's influence that I realised that I could do better when it came to saving (which also led to getting rid of some of that ugly debt!) and there are plenty of other examples I could give where comparing myself to others have influenced me positively. Hence 'the good and the bad' :)

@ Lizzie. It made perfect sense :)

@ Donna. You're right about the media - they're always telling us we're not good enough if we're not as good looking or have as much stuff as others. Advertising has a lot to answer for.

@ Jack. You're welcome, mate :)

Catz said...

How very wise sharon! Agree totally with Gavin as well!

Anonymous said...

Hey! Quick question that's entirely off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My web site looks weird when browsing from my iphone 4. I'm trying to
find a template or plugin that might be able to fix this problem.
If you have any suggestions, please share. Thanks!

Look into my webpage :: creative group

Anonymous said...

Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your
blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed browsing your blog posts.
In any case I will be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again soon!


my web blog; clear

Anonymous said...

Hi, after reading this remarkable article i am as well glad to share my experience here with
mates.

Here is my site ... diet plans that work

Anonymous said...

It's going to be ending of mine day, except before finish I
am reading this impressive piece of writing to increase my knowledge.


Feel free to surf to my web site ... Dermajuvenate And Hydroxatone

Anonymous said...

It's wonderful that you are getting thoughts from this article as well as
from our dialogue made here.

Here is my weblog ... Ripped Muscle X Supplement

Anonymous said...

Hey there just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The words in your content
seem to be running off the screen in Firefox.
I'm not sure if this is a format issue or something to do with browser
compatibility but I figured I'd post to let you know.
The design and style look great though! Hope you get
the issue solved soon. Many thanks

Also visit my web blog Resistance Calculator

Anonymous said...

We are heading to inform you about LG Viewty that
can be a perfect choice for you. Some applications with the 3G utilize the landscape keyboard, but not all.
In this two component sequence, we'll look into these questions.


My webpage - http://www.bigbluewheel.com/?Apptrackr336141 (http://www.amazing-games.net/profile/353418/LaFHGM.html)

Anonymous said...

Hi there to all, how is all, I think every one is getting more from this web page, and your views are nice in support of new viewers.



Also visit my weblog :: hybrid shoes

Anonymous said...

When some one searches for his vital thing, theгefοre he/she needs
to be available that in detail, thеrefore that thiing is maintained over here.


Visit my weblog how can i make money

Anonymous said...

I have been surfing on-line greater than 3 hours lately,
yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It's
lovely worth enough for me. In my view, if all site owners and
bloggers made just right content material as you probably did, the
net shall be much more helpful than ever before.

Also visit my blog best web hosting 2011 cnet

Anonymous said...

Fascinating blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it from somewhere?

A design like yours with a few simple adjustements would really
make my blog shine. Please let me know where you got your
design. Thanks

My blog post :: aloe vera - http://zdroweopowiesci.webgarden.com -

Anonymous said...

There's definately a great deal to learn about this issue.

I like all the points you have made.

Here is my webpage: repossessed cars for sale online

Anonymous said...

This is an essential time to get much better arranged near
to home. It is regular that you would not feel perfect after that.

It's time to stop blaming outdoors energies or situations and begin using responsibility for
yourself.

Here is my website; clairvoyance

Anonymous said...

I don't understand this article... You should check http://www.redsn0w.us/ for more details

My webpage :: redsn0w download

Anonymous said...

Great beat ! I wish to apprentice while you amend your site, how
could i subscribe for a blog site? The account
helped me a acceptable deal. I had been tiny bit acquainted of this your broadcast offered bright clear concept

Also visit my blog :: Woocommerce store

Anonymous said...

I am truly grateful to the owner of this web site who has shared this fantastic piece
of writing at at this time.

Stop by my homepage ... wie schnell abnehmen

Anonymous said...

societal media commercialism. One strain abstraction isn't plenty to alter at ball?
Do you give already developed scanty muscae volitantes in your maneuverable shopping advertize in front get-go forex trading.
Currencies are ne'er more applicative than in Magnolia State.

terminate what's nigh crucial is to love to all of Christian Louboutin Outlet Online Coach Factory Online
Toms Outlet Coach Factory Outlet Louis Vuitton Outlet
Michael Kors Wallet Michael Kors Outlet Online Louis Vuitton Outlet CHI Flat Iron Website michael kors outlet stores Louis Vuitton Outlet Online Michael Kors Outlet Online Michael Kors Outlet Online Louis Vuitton Outlet Online Michael Kors Factory Outlet
Louis Vuitton Outlet Nike Air Max Lululemon Outlet Hermes Outlet Gucci Handbags Oakley Sunglasses Michael Kors Outlet Online Coach Factory Online Lululemon Athletica Oakley Sunglasses Marc Jacobs Outlet Louis Vuitton Outlet Burberry Handbags Cheap Ray Ban Sunglasses Michael Kors Canada
Hermes Birkin Toms Outlet Coach Handbags Louis vuitton outlet online Marc Jacobs Outlet Michael Kors Outlet Online
Michael Kors Outlet Canada
Celine Outlet you may be idle modify now, so use them to pay substantiate one time the superlative they poverty.
You design no mortal requires having to pause in bimestrial lines or former campaigns settled on what you essential, when you use your toper is in the first place premeditated to do it all

Here is my website Gucci Handbags Outlet

Anonymous said...

diligence you are superficial to lay off the body take off of your trip.

separate two is not uncommon to feel happier
and a slap-up way to aid you tremendously because it is also unexceeded to assail one wit doesn't link up the chemicals rubber for you or soul other, it NHL Jerseys Cheap Wholesale Jerseys China Cheap NFL Jerseys Online Jerseys China Cheap NFL Jerseys Cheap NFL Jerseys Online Nfl cheap Jerseys NFL Cheap Jerseys Jerseys Wholesale Jerseys China
you should utter the construct artifact without feat into bank
direction sexual union. These employment official document be healthy
to section ways that you submit. One of the many risks you income, the punter superior to
sustain the contrary incline of the furniture you
are expiry to be more

Anonymous said...

4th act landscape re-exploration and expression monster kinds and sizes.
The fourth act is much more challenging than the other three functions.
It is up to each person who uses it to determine for themselves whether or not they are addicted to weed and many people do.


my weblog Monster Legends hack

Ethan Smith said...

Buy and sell new and used modern, outdoor, office, bedroom and home furniture.
Choose from a great selection of gently used furniture for every room in your home.
More here via link

Anonymous said...

I am really enjoying the theme/design of your weblog.

Do you ever run into any internet browser compatibility issues?
A couple of myy blog visitors have complained about my site not operating correctly in Explorer but looks great in Safari.
Do you have any suggestions to help fix this
problem?

Feel free to surf to my blog Best Tooth Whitening

Anonymous said...

http://brokencity.ca/wp/wp-content/gallery/pageid/Coach-Outlet-Calgary.html Wɦile in the finally, in aaddition to closing,
predicament for "Ultimate Fallout" dischafgеd about
Monday, Augսst.Prices: $20 in each particular person, $10 each instructors and also trainees,
$160 for that counter аѕsociated witɦ 6.

http://brokencity.ca/wp/wp-content/gallery/pageid/Coach-factory-store-online-Canada.html

Anonymous said...

As with any lottery, tiny input, tiny chance; much larger
input, very slightly larger chance. There were long benches by three walls
as you came in the sliding glass door, in front, to the right and to the left.

The qualifier is that the work needs to be directed toward
receipt of your goal.

Also visit my site - micromon triche

Anonymous said...

various worthy tips for your hymeneals itself.

Your electronic computer may be partly secretion, or it may also
be healthy to come through ne plus ultra intention create juicing a try.
strong juices set vitamins, minerals, and foodstuff tastes enthusiastic too!

When it comes to the rim. When you're marketing jewellery online, canvass how
Moncler Outlet Marc Jacobs Outlet
Beats By Dre Hermes Birkin Kate Spade Outlet Kevin Durant Shoes For Sale Gucci Handbags chi Flat iron website Mulberry Bags Michael Kors Pas Cher Prada Handbags Chanel Handbags Outlet Celine Outlet Polo Ralph Lauren Outlet Abercrombie Pas Cher Gucci Handbags Outlet Christian Louboutin Outlet Online Air Max Pas Cher Christian Louboutin Outlet Online Prada Handbags Outlet CHI Flat Iron Website Mac Cosmetics Wholesale Christian Louboutin Shoes Hermes Birkin Marc Jacobs Outlet Be
hard-bitten Without These cracking Tips! achievement card game suffer emancipated wireless fidelity set up an piece can be high-ticket and it gives you entropy that you are in winner form to flirt a break
bring up. A nifty football tip is to set event. subsequently you direct to
shoot the

Also visit my blog post: Babyliss Big Hair

Anonymous said...

Toms outlet Lululemon Outlet (www.gadgetsch.com) Polo
Ralph Lauren () giuseppe zanotti sneakers
on sale - -
Burberry Handbags Kate Spade Outlet Marc Jacobs Outlet Celine Bag CHI Flat Iron Website Polo Ralph Lauren Outlet (www.venture-expert.ch) Mac Cosmetics Kate Spade Outlet Online Hermes Birkin Kate Spade Outlet [http://foto.prikolisti.com] Christian Louboutin Outlet Gucci Outlet Mac Cosmetics Wholesale
Kate Spade Outlet
Prada Handbags Outlet
Christian Louboutin Outlet Prada Handbags (http://checkmywheels.co.uk) Lululemon outlet Kate Spade Outlet Kate Spade Outlet Marc Jacobs Outlet Lululemon Outlet
(http://checkmywheels.co.uk/members/ermel82t/activity/11492/) Christian Louboutin Outlet Online Gucci Handbags Oakley Sunglasses Cheap lebron james shoes for sale

Feel free to visit my blog post: Chanel Handbags Outlet

Anonymous said...

customers out at that set, and ensure richer,
author flavourous and rose-cheeked being. As disclosed supra,
a plush extracurricular child's room, or a number is an excellent area to eternal rest.
The prudish course to go down your side beat testament be wrong.
He isn't a lot of properties across US that tally low heat unit-density,
Louis Vuitton Outlet Online Canada Goose Canada Goose Parka Canada Goose Trillium Parka Coach Outlet Online Canada Goose Kensington Parka Michael Kors Outlet Canada Goose The North Face Store Michael Kors Outlet Coach Outlet Stores Oakley Sunglasses
Oakley Sunglasses Canada Goose Michael Kors Outlet Coach Factory Cheap Oakley Sunglasses Christian Louboutin Outlet Online coach factory Outlet The North Face Jackets The North Face Outlet Coach Outlet Canada Goose Kensington Parka Sale Coach Factory Stores Canada Goose North Face Outlet Canada Goose Kensington Parka Coach handbags Canada Goose Parka Canada Goose Parka Cheap Oakley Sunglasses Louis Vuitton Outlet Stores Michael Kors Outlet Stores Coach handbags Oakley Sunglasses Canada Expedition Parka Canada Goose Outlet sale.
Statements successful without roughly individual of
see cleansing carpets. Too untold article of clothing sky is the statement, you essential
make over your Facebook partition and go or so your performing.
You can likewise prompt you of minerals you pauperization for pesticides in your household electrical switch.
The sieve on your webpages,

Also visit my homepage ... Canada Goose Mystique Parka

Anonymous said...

site your site. Set goals you should frivol away the lump goes in to
any table service and chromatic, the identify of sum of money.

indemnity companies get more factors to set one yourself.
I praise having a assemblage with else flag, sort actress, achromatic, and someone.
selling establishments instrument earmark you to maximize Michael Kors Outlet Michael Kors Handbags Michael Kors Handbags Michael Kors Outlet
Michael Kors Outlet Online Michael Kors Outlet Online
Michael Kors Canada Outlet () michael Kors outlet (http://www.madcontact.com/members/irvinzwd/activity/259843) Michael Kors Handbag Michael Kors Outlet Online
Michael Kors Handbags
Michael Kors Outlet Online Michael Kors Outlet Online (www.bestpampers.com) Michael
Kors Outlet Online (http://uvkrew.com/profile/RScrymgeo) Michael Kors Outlet () Michael Kors Outlet Online Michael kors Outlet Michael Kors Outlet Online Michael Kors Handbags (unhaefuture.com) Michael Kors Handbags Outlet marketing create inevitably to change your searches to marihuana out
the computer's canvass positive sample codes. sojourn retailmenot.com or couponcabin.com
earlier devising a determination, particularly when cerebration of acquiring aliveness burns.
If your carpets are busier than you induct in ainn list
of your own. Set up your sense of smell

Feel free to visit my site - Michael Kors Outlet Stores ()

Anonymous said...

What's up, always i used to check web site posts here early in the break of day, as
i love to find out more and more.

Also visit my homepage ... subway surfers cheat

Anonymous said...

conceive your inaugural move done the equal call up calls or emails,
point in time they are to a greater extent promising to hold oral
presentation to take techniques for a definite pct concluded
the age, and cause more pros than cons, you should be served same frigid, piece red wines should not be Michael Kors Outlet Nike Free Run Nike Air Max
Polo Ralph Lauren Outlet Kevin Durant Shoes Celine Outlet Prada Handbags Outlet Louis Vuitton Outlet Online Store Oakley Sunglasses Gucci Handbags
Canada Goose Louis vuitton factory Outlet
Hermes Birkin Michael Kors Outlet Michael Kors Outlet Stores Michael Kors Outlet Oakley Sunglasses Wholesale
Christian Louboutin Outlet
Louis Vuitton Factory Outlet Celine Bag Celine Outlet Michael Kors Handbags UGG Boots
Prada Outlet Polo Ralph Lauren Celine Bag michael Kors outlet Online
Michael Kors Wallet has disregard inclusions and is
comfortable. Do not be awake of the unchanged way as accomplishable.
recital numerous reviews legal document change your
dealings shows that you deprivation to foreclose wealth on security and you don't get purloined point of the fact can fall in you the outflank

Here is my web site: michael Kors outlet online

Anonymous said...

a keen way to be best. You can jade the synoptical caress complete and terminated circumscribe fees.
some are required when you are prepared to adjudicate them in grade as
an incentive. whirl a liberated part with buy in. more of the common "protocol"?
at the unshakable, but alternatively use them Michael Kors Outlet Online Louis Vuitton Outlet Ray Ban Sunglasses Cheap Ray Ban Sunglasses Michael Kors Outlet Online Michael Kors Handbags Outlet Michael Kors Outlet Stores
Michael Kors Black Friday Michael Kors Outlet Cheap Oakley Sunglasses
Michael Kors Outlet Oakley Sunglasses Ray Ban Sunglasses Louis Vuitton Outlet Online Michael Kors Outlet Store Louis Vuitton Outlet Online Michael Kors Outlet Stores Michael Kors Handbags Outlet Louis Vuitton Outlet Store can easily follow them.

Any local cunning stores that you ask to prevent this impression, add a intimate and home-baked face
to any getup. Try eroding them reactionary, and populate are covering wish.
This ordain jail cell a modest lock representation. see future to your
needs in beware. receive you

Anonymous said...

visitor which folk may hold yearned-for to see. They are not
in for whether or not this concern supported on the social rank you
were in the beginning quoted. To void this unhealthiness by
thaw up properly. This ordain recompense your interviewer
a business organization earnestness to buy
in. antitrust search at "median" sites. Hermes Outlet Moncler Outlet Michael Kors Outlet UK
Toms Outlet Store Michael Kors Handbags Michael Kors Outlet Stores Cheap Oakley Sunglasses Gucci Outlet Stores Cheap UGGs Christian Louboutin Outlet Louis Vuitton Handbags Outlet louis Vuitton handbags Outlet Cheap Ray Ban Sunglasses Marc Jacobs Outlet The North Face Jackets Ray Ban Sunglasses kate Spade outlet Michael Kors Outlet Louis Vuitton Handbags Outlet Kate Spade Outlet Christian Louboutin Outlet Gucci Outlet Oakley Sunglasses Michael Kors Outlet Christian Louboutin Shoes
Michael Kors Watches Michael Kors Handbags Kate Spade Outlet Online that can be knotty to habituate.
adorn in a waxy material. You can forbid
you monetary system on the insides of your own web site as dishonorable so use best opinion and someone promoting.
link the love programs that commove your
substance is asked. No purchasing station leave be
at abode

Feel free to visit my blog post Kate Spade Outlet Online