Following yesterday’s post, I thought I’d better let you all know that I’m feeling a lot better today. I still didn’t sleep well but for different reasons this time (medical reasons) and although I’m tired today, my mind feels more at ease.
What IS bugging me though is the fact that this simplicity lark that I’m so determined to keep hold of just seems to keep slipping away from me. This is why:
1. Keeping On Top Of Things Although I’ve de-cluttered considerably there’s still a long way to go and I just don’t seem to be able to keep up with it. Because I tire really quickly, there always seems to be other stuff that needs doing and even the general day to day running of the house can become too much for me at times. When the floors need cleaning, the kitchen looks as if a war’s been fought in it, the washing basket’s overflowing and the window’s are so dirty I can hardly see out of them anymore, de-cluttering is the last thing I have time for. I do a little now and then (I de-cluttered the shelves and baskets underneath the coffee table at the weekend) but it’s never enough.
Maybe I’m just attacking things in the wrong way or something but if there’s one thing I regret it’s letting it get this way in the first place! Why oh why did I ever think I needed all this junk?
2. People I’ve really tried hard to keep toxic people out of my path but it’s not always possible. Some people I just have to tolerate because of circumstances. I can’t go into what those circumstances are as I wouldn’t like anybody to recognise themselves, or even think they recognise themselves, but a couple of them are people I really don’t need or want in my life.
For some reason I tend to attract those who are down on their luck and that’s ok, but when they starting taking the Jimmy out of me, it’s not ok anymore. Far from it. I don’t hesitate to tell them about themselves, and have done on numerous occasions, but still they persist and there’s sod all I can do about it.
These people cause me unnecessary stress EVEN THOUGH they know that stress can make me seriously ill. Stress is not good when you’re trying to live a simple life.
3. People II Because I tend to attract people who have had a less than easy life (and I guess that’s because like attracts like), a lot of my friends are struggling with personal problems. My problem is that I get too emotionally involved and again, that leads to stress.
And that IS my problem, not theirs. They haven’t asked me to get so involved, nor have they expected it of me, but it’s part of my nature I guess, and probably something I’m just going to have to live with.
I have learned to distance myself to a certain degree - I don’t get as involved as I once would have done - but even so, I notice that there are times when I need to put my own needs before theirs and that doesn’t always happen.
Is it really possible to live simply in a house that feels chaotic most of the time, and with friends whose problems I take onboard a little too often? Not to mention the ones who aren’t friends but who I have to endure but who suck me dry emotionally. Is it? Please tell me it is.
It's a new month - maybe I just need to 'regroup' and decide on a plan of action. I just have to figure out what that should be first.