Shit Happens!

Image: tassoman

Let me tell you a story about a big bottom.

Before I got ill I was a size 18 with a more than ample backside. One day my then partner and I decided to take my daughter and her friend, the girl who went on to become what I call my ‘almost’ daughter, to a river up on the High Peak.

We had a lovely time up there. The sun was shining from a clear blue sky (remember those summers?) so we were all wearing light clothes. I was in a t-shirt and a pair of thin cotton shorts.

Being a naturally frugal person I kept my clothes for as long as I could and the shorts, I have to admit, had seen better days. But they were comfy and so easy to wear. And I loved the fact that they were a bright, cheerful orange.

On the way back to the car we had to climb over a style. Bjorn went over first, then it was my turn. I was mid-cock when I heard a distinct ripping sound and giggles from the girls behind me. Yes, you’ve got it. My shorts had called it a day. It was no little rip either - the seam had come apart from the crutch to the waistband. What’s more, I wasn’t wearing any knickers!

I’ve always like to go ‘au naturelle’ - I believe it’s good for us to let our bits breathe now and then - but this was one time I wished I hadn’t.

It wouldn’t have been so bad if it had only be the girls behind me but it wasn’t. To my horror there were two young men on the path behind us getting a full view of my full moon.

These days we look back at that episode and laugh. I mean, as much as it was embarrassing at the time, it was funny; it’s not every day you display your wobbly bum to strangers, after all.

There are lots more stories we look back and laugh about, most of which stem from mistakes that one of us made at the time. There’s the time I caught my foot in the seatbelt and fell out of the car; the time my mum thought she had a bomb in her bag and took it to her mother’s house instead of the police station; the time Lise and Linn Marie had nits but didn’t say anything because they “thought it was kind of like having pets in their hair”; and the time I went out with two un-matching shoes. The list really is endless. I’m sure your family has its own memories borne of mistakes, too.

The point with all this is that instead of beating ourselves up about mistakes and constantly striving to be perfect, we should embrace our imperfections and accept that making mistakes is the one thing that every human has in common. The perfect person doesn’t exist, so why strive to be one?

Last night more mistakes were made here. At the time a few people were upset but in the light of day we’ve be able to loosen up and see the funny side of them. No doubt in years to comes we’ll look back on them and laugh at what they’ve become - funny family stories.

How boring life would be if we didn’t have the colour that our mistakes splash onto the canvas.

Sharon J

PS: If you'd like to read more stories from my life, click here.

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